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Love at first sight, of course, sometimes happens to people, but is this enough for a strong, healthy and happy relationship? Yes, sometimes a kind of spark runs between people who have known each other for just a few minutes, but the flame flared up from it can just as quickly go out.

There are actually many reasons for this. A person can be incredibly beautiful on the outside, but be an absolute jerk by their nature. You may not share some beliefs with another person, certain habits may annoy you so much... In the end, you may root for different teams - this also happens and sometimes leads to a breakup, trust us.

In any case, there are various things that can signal that something is totally off. "Just stop, turn around and leave right now before it gets worse!" they say. But how do you recognize such signs, especially if you are not an overly perceptive person?

In the AskReddit community, a special thread has recently appeared, just dedicated to these red flags. Its author originally asked the question: "What's a dealbreaker when it comes to dating?" and as of today, the thread boasts over 6.0K upvotes and about the same number of different comments.

Of course, not all of these comments are equally wholesome, and even more so, not all of them should be taken as a guide to action. To make it easier for you to read, Bored Panda has compiled a list of the most popular, useful and sometimes even funny signs that serve as a clear signal to a variety of people - it's time to end your relationship with this person! 

So feel free to scroll to the very end of the list, mark the submissions you like or believe the most and, of course, write your own red flags in the comments. If, of course, you have at least one.

More info: Reddit

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online treating animals poorly

HeartStarHeart , benjamin.choi Report

Final score:
211points
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Wendy Bolam
Wendy Bolam
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nonononono... I can't get into what I would do to the sick lowlife abusers.

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#2

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Littering

Low_Expensive , Stephan Ridgway Report

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#3

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Don’t ever put your hands on me. I can’t be serious enough.

I don’t care about your emotions. Don’t care if it was a 1/10th of a second of insanity or a miscommunication or you thought I was cheating. Don’t ever put your hands on me. I spent too much time as a child dealing with people who hit me and I’ll be damned if I let it happen again. There is zero excuse for adults to hit each other.

Dr_Garp , Ksayer1 Report

Final score:
154points
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JMil
JMil
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh geez, "hands on me" is a euphemism. At first I thought it was a little intense if a hug or pat on the back would be a game-changer. But, yeah, that makes sense.

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#4

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Trump supporters, conspiracy theorists, anti-science views.

scatteredloops , Gage Skidmore Report

Final score:
148points
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#5

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Being a d**k. Common symptoms include being rude to people in the service industry, ridiculous levels of self importance, lack of compassion, etc. don’t be a d**k.

acetroxel , Consumerist Dot Com Report

Final score:
143points
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#6

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Flat earther

karmaredemption , repaze premier Report

Final score:
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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

being a headless roach, a flat earther is actually my kind of people

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#7

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Open mouth chewing.

miku_dominos , Tambako The Jaguar Report

Final score:
129points
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#8

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Narcissism.

afisaaaaa , Lisa Zins Report

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123points
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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cat tho'... as if the reason of cat owner's existence was any other than to make cats feel superior.

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#9

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online As someone who doesn't want children, dating someone who does is a dealbreaker. Suffered a couple broken hearts over having to make this decision...

_JazminBianca , Fanny Report

Final score:
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Lisa H
Lisa H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100%. This needs to be a mutual agreement. If you're with someone who wants children, but you don't, then, sorry, but the relationship will not work out. You can have everything else in common and be madly attracted to each other, but the decision to have children is HUGE. I cannot emphasize this enough. This is not something that can be negotiated. In the end, one of you will end up resenting the other person over this issue no matter what. There cannot be a debate over this.

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#10

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Mind games. If you still want to do that in your 20's or 30's you are not mentally old enough to be with me.

boopnsnootshaha , Romain Toornier Report

Final score:
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#11

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online They don't initiate ANYTHING such as dates or intimacy

Blackcore8 , freestocks.org Report

Final score:
106points
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Buren
Buren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not a deal breaker for me. Maybe a deal breaker for someone about me.

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#12

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online If you expect me to excuse s***ty behavior because of the position the stars were in when you were born.

xJD88x , Nicholas Jones Report

Final score:
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Wendy Bolam
Wendy Bolam
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do people actually do that. They act terribly then try to excuse therir behaviour bysaying, oh sorry I'm abit loud and fiesty because my starsign is Leo. OK Well I am a bull, should I come charging at you and put you flat on ya a*s with my head... idiots

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#13

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Not brushing your teeth / poor dental hygiene on a regular basis

Ohyeahimoverhereyeah , Tobias Begemann Report

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#14

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Having to constantly message and call because they want to be apart of your life every second. Even while working. Oh God.

rnbwhtr , Jhaymesisviphotography Report

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#15

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Drama. At this point I’ve been through too much s**t and value my peace way more than I value someone I’ve just met’s feelings.

lifesux254 , bluesbby Report

Final score:
93points
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#16

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Me paying for everything, all the time.

PumpkinPatch404 , Morgan Report

Final score:
91points
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$cagsy
$cagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should always offer to go at the minimum 50/50. I consider you rude if you don't offer.

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#17

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Alcoholics. I love to drink and smoke, but in moderation. That’s just me, though.

qweenkunt , Dr. Matthias Ripp Report

Final score:
91points
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T. Unnamable
T. Unnamable
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Smoking cigarettes is a major turn-off for me. My parents smoked too much and I cannot stand the smell.

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#18

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online A bad temper

alval98 , storem Report

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Lakota Wolf
Lakota Wolf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey! This is coat-ism against calicos here! ::points at photo:: We ALL know it's torties that have a bad tortitude, not calicos!

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#19

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Inconsistency in behaviours and words. Nothing tires me out like people who are not clear in their intentions. Im not going to navigate in troubled waters, when I can swim in clear ones

Geremia_Visconti , Wyatt Fisher Report

Final score:
82points
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Sarah Stalder
Sarah Stalder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! At the end of the day, the most important things to me are my name and my word. My actions are my word and keeping my word is my name. The most important thing I have, really.

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#20

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Lack of accountability

vi0letalien , Natasha Chub-Afanasyeva Report

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Libstak
Libstak
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep stay away from someone who is always the victim with big stories of how every single ex hurt them. Especially when they claim they cant trust you going out with friends or even just dressing up and wearing make up to work because they have been hurt and cheated on before.

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#21

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online When u notice that they want to change you into ways they like more, subtle hints at start but progressively they get more ballsy

Draxxony , Laura Crowhurst Report

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#22

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online The date being obsessed with themselves or continually talking about their ex partners

LMcGenius , Image Catalog Report

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LapCat
LapCat
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Irony: I started seeing a guy in early March 2020, just as a “physical” relationship. We had each ended our relationship with our exes some months prior, each of us had been burned by them so-to-say. So we continuously talked shït about them…. normally this would be a turn-off for me had I been “hoping” for something more than physical with this guy. But over time, the physical relationship became something much more, especially after Covid lockdown took effect. It took a few months before we gradually stopped talking about our exes altogether and were falling in love with each other. It was unexpected and dare I say, organic? Because we got together with ZERO expectations except for sex. Fast forward: we’re now engaged and getting married in March 2023.

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#23

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online A ‘fix me’ person. I will support you to be your best. But I am not responsible to fix you.

nadanope11 , Jay Reed Report

Final score:
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RafCo (he/him)
RafCo (he/him)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't know this was a thing. I don't like the fix you people. If you don't like me now, you won't like me in two years. The opposite may be true though.

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#24

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Someone who doesn't believe in... anything. No passions, no interests, no stances on issues, just molding themselves to whatever they think I want to hear.

That's a person who A. Will be codependent because they've not developed a sense of self & will rely on me for all mental stimulation. Or B. A person who's secretly got s***ty views or toxic habits & is concealing them to try & get me invested.

Hard pass.

**Edit** wow this pissed off a very specific crowd. If you are shy or reserved, this is not about you. If you keep certain things back for when you're serious, this is also not about you. Stop acting like hit dogs.

No one is talking about a normal amount of caution.

This is a person who actually *cannot* express interest or belief or disbelief or anything in polite smalltalk. They don't have anything they do to tell you about, they can't express any likes or dislikes, they're not even all that interested in anything you say.

Like..whew. I'm an incredibly shy person out dating, calm down guys, I fully get it & this is not about us.

AllPerspicacity , Mark Baylor Report

Final score:
70points
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Buren
Buren
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned how to ride a motorcycle because of my second petty reason. First reason was to save a lot of valuable time, second reason was because I couldn't handle anymore conversation with this gal. She would reserve seat and sit next to me everyday, which was unavoidable because we relied on one bus at the same time everyday. But for the life of me, I couldn't find anything that 'click', she had no passion and interest in anything. The journey sucked my spirit out of me because regardless of that, she kept trying to connect and I had tried everything to find something mutual that remotely interesting and that didn't work because she didn't have her own opinion and agreed with everything I said. My bad, she's a great person, but I dreaded it daily.

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#25

Well this will completely get buried, but I'll add mine here anyway for posterity.

- Anyone who makes me feel unsafe. Whether that's anger issues, boundary breaking, reckless lifestyle, woman bashing, or just a spidey sense, I'm out.

- People with no firm opinions or values, can't keep up any mildly challenging conversation. Life's more fun with those who dare think for themselves.

- Immaturity and codependence. I'm looking to pair up, not to parent.

- Grating on my nerves. I don't know, some people just annoy me in the longer term. Like they're too boisterous or crass. That one's on me, I'm sensitive.

- Petty meanness and dickishness. Spoiled adults who expect everyone in the service industry to kiss the ground they walk on. Who are snide to others. Who have something to prove all the time. Who regularly fail at life's empathy checks. It's pretty much the worst type of person imo.

- Me: sometimes I am the dealbreaker. When I'm not ready to be a good partner to someone else. Even though they're great and the timing just didn't line up.

machiavellicopter Report

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#26

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online As a young woman that has dipped her toes into dating. A deal breaker for me is someone who has just come out of a long committed relationship and is out dating without giving themselves a proper healing stage.

isaboooty , Giuseppe Milo Report

Final score:
64points
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AliJanx
AliJanx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same holds true for divorced / separated or recently widowed. Give them plenty of space...

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#27

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online being clearly unable to have time to develop a relationship. We all have jobs,hobbies and a social life. if you can't administrate your time to make an effort into getting involved with me, I will walk out of your life really quickly

Paula_Sub , https://flic.kr/p/aJcK8M Report

Final score:
60points
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Lisa H
Lisa H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In addition, consistently failing to put my needs first. Not saying mine should ALWAYS be first, that would be selfish. But if I am always last on your list of priorities, then why are you even with me?

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#28

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online i have a lot, but these are the main ones.

when they're obsessive and expect me to talk and stick by them 24/7.. i am a person, i have a life. they are not my world, theyre just a part of it.

when they get jealous easily and dont communicate with me.

when they don't respect boundaries.

when they dont know how to communicate properly and only think of themself.

basicallyimgay , Francesco Report

Final score:
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#29

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online Using their mental illness as part of their identity. No attempt to truly address it and leverage their illness to guilt others.

Toogern , ttarasiuk Report

Final score:
57points
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Pumpkin Spice
Pumpkin Spice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mentally ill person here. My mental disorder does not excuse any assholish behavior that I exhibit. If you see me being mean, call me out, please! If I'm not trying to be mean, I'll apologize and clarify.

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#30

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online If they’re mean to their mom for no reason.

tinytatofish , Ivan Lapenkov Report

Final score:
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Mabelbabel
Mabelbabel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a difficult one. I've been estranged from my mother for many years. My partner really struggled with this, he simply could not accept that she had been abusive and was full of "but she loves you deep down, she's your mother, you must have misinterpreted/misremembered/misunderstood, she was doing her best..." etc etc. When meeting her for the first time, she can come across as a nice old lady, and she can maintain that facade, so people who only get to know her superficially, think she's fine. I've absolutely no doubt that my refusal to get back in contact can come across to others as being mean for no reason. There are always reasons, but people outside the relationship can't see or understand them, so don't judge on initial impressions.

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#31

Entitlement

ukromanmegaman Report

Final score:
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#32

Getting too clingy too quick. We've been talking for 2 days mate, don't call me babe yet.

SwordTaster Report

Final score:
19points
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AliJanx
AliJanx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't think I'm going to hold your hand, give you more than a peck on the cheek, call me pet names or call me your girlfriend on the 2nd date. Trust takes time and needs to earned.

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#33

Treating it like a job interview. Met this one lady a while back. Beautiful woman, beautiful Australian accent, polite, funny…all the things a guy could want, only to have it end with “Ok well it was great meeting you. This was wonderful. However, I do have two other dates planned this week so I’ll be in touch.”

In other words…Ok well thank you for coming in today! We have your resume but we we do have 4 other candidates to interview so…we’ll reach out to you.

Couldn’t get to my car fast enough to unmatch and block her number. Not because I was butt hurt that she was seeing other guys. But because if that’s how she treats men at the dating level, she would have to be an absolute nightmare to be in a relationship with…..kinda like at a company meeting where the first words said are “you can leave at any time, and we are free to fire you at any time.”

Yeah great way to set the tone, dumbass.

EarthboundMisfitsInc Report

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sofacushionfort
sofacushionfort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Confused here. It’s no secret that attractive women have options in the casual dating scene. Was it her fault for acknowledging it out loud?

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#34

30 Pet Peeves And Red Flags When You First Start Dating Someone, As Pointed Out By Folks Online People with no hobbies.

triple_hoop , Banalities Report

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